Static and an alternate use for a useless appliance

Saturday, December 6th, 2008 by kara

It’s kinda sorta cold down here in Tennessee today, and it’s also pretty dry. That means it’s dry inside, too, which brings STATIC ELECTRICITY along with. Our poor dogs pretty much shock each other and themselves, and us, too, when they try to wrestle around and play, or if they’re even coming up to Rick and I to get petted.

Gigi doesn’t even want me to cover her up at night because her polar fleece blankie gets a pretty serious static charge by the time I drape it over her.

So i came up with what I thought was a pretty good idea: I’d plug in my little Crock Pot and heat some water and cinnamon sticks. But the little bastard isn’t heating up very quickly. Mind you, this is the small, two-quart Crock Pot that is always so bloody hot that it burns everything I fix inside it. It only has one setting, ‘On’, which apparently is another word for ‘Incinerate Everything Within.’

Especially if whatever I’m cooking has cheese in it. Cheese, burnt on to the surface of the crockery in this little bitchmaster, will NEVER EVER EVER come off. I don’t know why no one’s hit upon the burnt-cheese compound as a suitable industrial adhesive yet, because it’s extraordinarily effective, and it doesn’t seem to be water, acid, or bleach soluble.

And it seems once you’ve burnt something in crockery, that particular place is a magnet for future burned food.

So I thought this would be a prudent use of this cute little Crock Pot, which is otherwise too juiced-up to use as a slow-cooker. Water can’t burn, although I guess cinnamon sticks could leave a nasty residue if they cooked for a while and the water all boiled off, but I’m really past the point of caring what happens to this Crock Pot anyway.