My name is Kara, and I’m a procrastinator

I really am a procrastinator and have been since the day I was born, I think.  Funny story that my mother told over and over and over again:  When I was in third grade, she told me straight out “You’re a procrastinator.”  I asked her “What’s that?” and she told me to go look it up.  I said “Eh, I’ll do it later.”  Honest to Pete.  She laughed for about 15 minutes and used that story for chuckles for decades afterward.

THAT story is funny and kind of makes light of the fact that I have delayed, deferred and postponed decisions on everything throughout my life, from weighty issues such as what job I should pursue, to inconsequential decisions like when I should go to bed at night.

I have procrastinated on initiating important home improvement projects in my home, because I am uncertain that I’ll be able to do them perfectly and can’t stand the thought of screwing them up.  I have put off writing as a career simply because I don’t know how to market myself and also because I have trouble finishing a story or novel (although I have to wonder if I have trouble finishing a piece because I dread having to take the next steps of showing others my work and trying to sell it and I can’t handle the inevitable rejection).  I have delayed sending birthday cards and paying bills, so it doesn’t seem to matter if the task is something enjoyable or drudgery.

I’m going to do something about this, however.  I’m planning to learn about the causes of my procrastination habit (it IS a habit, one that I learned early in life) with the help of a really good book by Dr. William J. Knaus, titled “Do It Now!  Break the Procrastination Habit.”

I had originally found this book at the Saline Public Library, and wanted to have my own copy so that I could highlight text and make notes right in the book, so I ordered it from Amazon.com.  That was a while ago–I had put off actually reading the book and doing the work related to learning about my procrastinatory ways because there was always something more pressing to deal with, like household moves and sick dogs and work.

Out of boredom I plucked this book from my bookshelf last night and thumbed through it, and decided that I should stop making a cliché of myself by working through it.  As I paged through, I found the receipt from Amazon.com tucked in the back cover:  I bought the damned thing February 28, 2005.  Honest to Pete.  Go ahead.  Laugh.  Get it out.

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