Vanilla: Where is it appropriate?

I love the scent and taste of vanilla, in all forms, shapes and sizes. I love vanilla-scented Little Tree air fresheners for the car, vanilla lip gloss, vanilla ice cream, vanilla custards, vanilla yogurt, vanilla-scented body spray, vanilla-mint toothpaste, vanilla-mint mints, you name it and I’ll probably choose it over any other available flavor/scent.

To me, it’s a fresh, clean, appealing scent, pretty much harmless from any vantage point. Certainly NOT in the same league as Armani Code for men and Calvin Klein’s Eternity for women, both of which can be overused to the point of discomfort in onlookers (or onsmellers?), but at the same time much less prepossessing and overpowering.

Vanilla is appealing to almost everybody. I say “almost everybody” because I once worked with a woman who apparently hated vanilla and baking. One work day I wore vanilla-scented body lotion and spray, and she commented to the entire room “Why does it smell like someone’s baking in here?”

She used the same tone of voice that one would use to ask “Who in this room is currently taking a dump on a glass plate?”

That’s the point at which I realized that my immediate supervisor was most likely removed from Satan by only a few levels of familial relationship. WHO on this planet does NOT like the scent of someone baking?! Yeah…exactly.

In the meantime I’ve embraced all forms of vanilla, from vanilla-scented body lotion, to Diet Vanilla Coke, and VANILLA FLAVORED RUM (Cruzan is the brand, in case you’re wondering) which makes a lovely Screwdriver that tastes almost like a Creamsicle.

A week ago finally I bought a Vanilla Chai-scented Secret brand antiperspirant a week ago. If you know anything about me, you’ll recall that I sweat more than is humanly possible for any one being of average mass and surface area currently living on the face of the earth. Even though I love vanilla, I resisted trying this particular fragrance for quite a while. I’m not certain why. Maybe there was a part of me that couldn’t make the connection between my armpits and a sweet, tasty beverage. Is it that I feel my armpits can smell like anything except food?

But I really really really like vanilla, so this marriage of vanilla and antiperspirant should suit me to a ‘t’, right?

Uh…well…everytime I raise my arms I smell something like vanilla and coconut-flavored bubblegum. I’m simulatenously perplexed and enchanted. I’m trying to keep my mind straight as to when I should salivate and when I should perform a personal ‘self-check’…it’s kind of peculiar, and I think I may have discovered my own personal ‘line’ across which vanilla should never pass. But it smells really tasty…but it’s antiperspirant, SHOULD it smell edible? Arrgh.

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