Bah. Dammit. Turkey THAWED, for once.

Okay, you’ll love this: You’ll remember from previous posts how much trouble I have de-freaking-frosting a frozen-freaking-turkey in time to prepare it, right? I bought Rick a 20-pound turkey as a Christmas present (he really LIKES turkey) and wanting to be PROactive instead of REactive, I put the damn thing into the fridge a week ago. On the bottom shelf.

And because turkeys in my refrigerator NEVER thaw, I didn’t bother putting the dang thing on a plate. It just plunked and skidded on the bottom shelf of the fridge, where I assumed it would remain FROZEN just like the last two have done, until I took it out the day before preparing it to thaw it in a cold-water bath.

Yep. You guessed it. Checked it this evening, and the damn thing DEFROSTED. All over the bottom of my refrigerator. SHIT.

You should know that ‘cleaning the refrigerator’ is one of my least-favorite activities. It’s tied for first place on that list with ‘having a gynecological exam’ and ‘dental work.’ Why? I don’t really know, because it’s not as germ-laden as picking up dog poop in the backyard, nor as cleaning the bathroom. I just HATE IT. Don’t know why. So I wussed out and cleaned the fridge using a bunch of Chlorox wipes and paper towels. I know I should have used hot soapy water with a little bit of bleach, but screw it. I am lazy, and proud of it. And yeah, now the turkey is sitting on a serving platter. Better late than never, I guess.

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